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Channel
9 Does It Again, by Barry Williams (Credit: Australian
Skeptics):
September
1998
The following article was created
by Barry Williams specifically for the web site and
was not published in The Skeptic journal. Prompted
by an e-mail question from Graham Donald (see below),
Barry describes his presence at the taping of the
TV show Prophecies and Predictions.
Well
then, hands up those who wasted two hours of their
life watching Prophecies and Predictions on Ch 9 last
night?
Having
spent 3 hours last year being taped talking about
these ‘predictions’, I optimistically expected
I might get 30 seconds on air. As it happens that
was wildly optimistic - I didn’t get onto the
screen at all. However, if you are one of those inveterate
end title readers (the ones who know who did the makeup,
or was the key grip on every film made since 1900)
you would have seen my name nestled among 20 or so
others who were given "special thanks".
I
have no idea why they thanked me, because if they’d
taken any notice of what I said they wouldn’t
have made such egregiously stupid statements as the
ones about the Great Pyramid (I have news for Ronnie
Burns - the King’s Chamber is NOT directly under
the apex of the pyramid, it is offset from the centre-line,
by several metres, as a quick glance at any diagram
will show) and the Bermuda Triangle.
I’m
not complaining about not appearing, I doubt if my
reputation could have withstood being associated with
such a load of absolute twaddle. I’ll also bet
that the Geol Prof from Monash and the Met Prof from
Melbourne Uni are regretting their appearances.
It
really was a comprehensive pile of crap. Assorted
talking heads babbling about the coming new age and
various catastrophes, along with actors (in suitably
sepulchural tones) reading the "words" of
such predictive luminaries as Nostrababy, Old Ma Shipton,
John of God (I wonder if he is related to Fred Thornett’s
mate Terrence of God?) Edgar Cayce, Uncle Tom Cobley
and all. Not to mention a faceless and nameless Hopi
Indian, who seems to have predicted everything from
two world wars to McDonalds..
Ronnie
Burns (a pop singer from the dim past) who was credited
with the "original idea", also fronted the
show and was shown looking and sounding suitably grave,
in suitably picturesque locations and suitably impressive
libraries.
Most
of the footage was standard newsroom stock - volcanic
eruptions, nuclear explosions, tidal waves (actually
ordinary waves superimposed on backdrops of the Sydney
skyline), floods, wars, plagues, famines and assorted
other apocalyptic nastiness.
It
didn’t seem to occur to Ronnie, Savior of Mankind,
that even with the best spin in the world, the assembled
sages all seemed to be predicting different things.
The one who seemed to get the most attention (of the
living ones that is, Ma Shipton was probably the overall
star) was some dingbat named Scallion (which, as a
matter of interest, is the name Americans give to
shallots, - and very appropriatly too, because he
talked s(uc)h-a-lot of crap.) Scallion appears to
have visions, and not very nice ones, of doom and
gloom. Perhaps he should stop smoking that stuff.
I
think the message was that the world is going to:
be hit by a meteor; go through the tail of a comet;
have a new sun erupt in the solar system (shades of
"2010 - Odyssey II" by Arthur C Clarke);
switch poles in a mighty Earth rollover effect; have
a devastating nuclear war; have Atlantis arise again;
suffer death, destruction and general buggery, in
the next couple of years. And they are only the BIG
ones.
But
the REAL message was that it will be all right if
we adopt a nice, caring, spiritual, new age approach
and that the survivors will live in Peace and Harmony
(background choir singing excerpts from "Hair")
for a thousand years or more, along the banks of a
sylvan stream somewhere, trickling down some canyon
somewhere (which, with any luck, will probably have
Rob Sitch and Tom Gleissner fishing in it).
The
REAL message for this cynical old soul, however, is
that there is no end to the drivel that people will
perpetrate if they can find a media outlet silly enough
to buy it. I await the ratings results with breathless
anticipation.
Links:
Australian
Skeptics
Channel
9
Interview
with Barry Williams - 20th August 2003
Interview
with Bob Carrol - 21st April 2003
Interview
with Phillip Adams - 3rd April 2003 Skepdic.com
Profiles
Network
Nine Australia
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